We Can Feel the Prayers

This beautiful painting was created by Jack Sorenson, a good friend of Ray and family. It was presented to the family at the recent Diocesan Respect Life Banquet in Amarillo.

Update: We are all feeling a tremendous amount of grace. Actually, I can't speak for everyone, but I know that I and his immediate family are feeling your prayers!!! Keep them coming.

We miss you, Raymond! We miss you!

-Sr. Mary Michael posting (with Kim's permission)

Video of Ray's Life and Family -- Enjoy!

Stories about Raymond ?

We realize that there are many stories that people would like to share about Ray. We invite you to post them here on the comments. We'd love to hear more about how Raymond touched people's lives.

The funeral this morning was very nice. The sun came out shining upon us. (We're going to miss you, Raymond!!! We love you SO much!)

If Ray were here, I think he'd be telling us this:

"If you were touched by my life (only possible with God's Grace), then go ahead and have an inspiring life yourself. Ask God for the grace, say YES to Him on a daily basis, and live the paradox of the Gospel: faith, hope, and love."

Post your stories here if you like . . . or write Kim a letter.

God bless you all! "You're precious!"

-Sr. Mary Michael, OSF

Obituary

http://www.schoolerfuneralhome.com/services.asp?page=odetail&id=12412&locid=44

Funeral Arrangements

• Rosary at St. Thomas on Sunday evening -- 6:30 p.m.
• Funeral Mass in Nazareth on Monday morning -- 10:30 a.m.
• Dinner to follow in the Community Hall

The Fight is Over

Ray's body began to shut down last night. They called us in and there was really nothing else they could do for him.....

Ray died peacefully this morning surrounded by family. He quit breathing as they finished the Divine Mercy Chaplet.

Details on rosary and funeral will be posted as we know about them.

Same Today

Things are about the same today. The Drs. have cautioned us about watching all the numbers and looking for quick improvements. We're told recovery is going to be an "arduous" process, and not to get discouraged when numbers that need to go up tend to decline. To keep it all in perspective, one Dr. said it's "like trying to tell time by only looking at the second hand." There's so much to the big picture.

Encouraging news, WBC is going up so that's good news for the immune system. Letting him rest tonight with 100% oxygen while on the ventilator. We're hoping to decrease that percentage of O2 ASAP.

Thanks for all the prayers, visits, phone calls, food, laughter and tears.
More later.
Love you all,
Kim

Waiting and Waiting

The pulmonologist said that things are a little more improved from yesterday. White blood count continues to improve, so that's a good sign. We wished it would improve faster, but we'll take what we get.

We're told that things should be more clarified by the end of the week, which means we should be able to tell more about how Ray's body is responding and recovering.

The oncologist said he plans to do a bone marrow biopsy in a few days as those results will also be a determining factor for future treatment.

Thank you all for your love and support!

This Family of Faith

Things look better than they did 24 hours ago. The doctors are a little encouraged by the immune system recovering, and the body being given a chance to rest and heal with the help of the ventilator. The doctors are quick to add that things could get worse at any moment. We really do not know for sure what is going to happen (this top paragraph is from Kim).

I have to say, it's so edifying to watch this family of faith. We love Ray SO much! He has lived a good life. He and Kim and their family have touched so many people. Now in this time of waiting, we are crying, we're grieving, we're hoping, we're telling funny stories about Raymond that we remember, we're laughing. We are a people of faith. We know down deep in our hearts that whatever happens, he and we will be okay. We have high hopes that he will get out of this mess and get back to a normal life. But we also know that that may not be in the Father's Plan. He has had every saint relic in Texas, he's been blessed with some of them by priests, he's had every holy person pray for him, over him and bless him. If he still does not survive this, he will be going to his goal of life and ours -- eternal life!

Thank you all for your prayers and love. We can feel them! May God's Will be done!

Thank you, Raymond, for teaching us and leading us in this family of faith. We're reaping the beautiful fruit of your life and love in our lives.
-Your little sis, Sr. M.Mich.

Keep the Prayers and Love Coming

Ray was struggling to breathe this morning. He's in ICU on a ventilator now. He's not doing well. Please keep the prayers coming.
-posted for Kim by Sr. Mary Michael, OSF

Early Morning

I wish I could say things are so much better on this early Monday morning, but they just are not. The big concern now, is what's going on in the lungs. Back in November when the lung biopsy showed a fungus in the lungs, well now it appears (the fear) that after Ray being immune suppressed for so long that possibly the fungus has had a chance to spread. Ray has been on two anti fungal antibiotics since November, but it was explained to us that the fungus is never completely eliminated, you only try to contain it. Only a biopsy would show for sure what is happening in the lungs, and another biopsy is totally out of the question. X-rays show more infiltrations in the lungs, blood work shows very little immune system, and spiking temps still a big problem. We're locked into numbers. The Dr.'s words Sunday morning: "It doesn't look good."

Nighttime is always a bad time for Ray, which makes it hard for me to leave. I went home last night around 10:00, and came back this morning around 5:00. He does need a lot of help and is always needing a drink. Andy & Britteny were here most of Saturday, and Amber & Steve drove down yesterday afternoon. Ryan is also in & out often. I'm thankful I can be here as much as I can.

Love you all,
Kim

P.S. Happy Birthday, Becky! Man, you're getting old!!

One Small Step

The WBC once again increased by another tenth of a point. The Dr. said that it would great to have incremental increases, but we're encouraged by even these small ones. A push for more protein in the diet has begun. We'll be adding protein powder to food and drinks for starters. The dietition is also adding some protein snacks. It's going to be difficult when there's no desire to eat.

Still sleeping most of the time, and says he's got so much sleep to catch up on. About the only time he's awake is to eat, get a drink and use the bathroom. I usually have to wake him up to eat. We did manage to convince him he needed to shower today. He really didn't need to, but we hoped it would invigorate him. By the time he finished and dressed he was ready to pass out from exhaustion so I hurried to get him back in bed.

As far as Mary and Daniel, I try to keep life as normal as possible for them...whatever the heck normal is. Daniel is participating in a history fair @ WTAMU tomorrow. Also on his team are three of his classmates, who do not have their project ready. So tonight they'll be working until the eleventh hour, I'm sure. Mary is going to "A Night at the Museum" that is being held at the American Quarter Horse Museum for four hours tonight. Something I signed her up for a few weeks ago, having no idea all this other stuff would be going on in our lives. Don't know what I was thinking, but it's a good distraction for them.

Had lunch todaywith Gary & Peggy. Gary is one of Ray's cousins (Mother's side) from Tucumcari, NM. His mom LaRose, Ray's aunt just moved into a nursing home yesterday. We had a good chance to catch up.

Have a blessed weekend.
Love you all,
Kim

Any Improvement?

We look for any improvement, no matter how small. The white blood cell count is one-tenth of a point higher today. I asked the Dr. if he's encouraged at all by that. His response is that's really no change, but let's be hopeful that it's the beginning of an upward trend. So we'll wait and see what tomorrow's counts bring.

Everything else is about the same as yesterday. The second dose of the new antibiotic went pretty much the same as yesterday. He's has fever spikes as the drug is being administered and also some slight shaking. The nurses tell him he's handling it very well. Pre-meds (Demerol & Benadryl) are given before this drug is started, making it easier to tolerate.

His appetite is still poor. I did manage to get him to eat some homemade chicken soup tonight that I brought in for him. Strawberry Ensure has been his staple food. Yum!

Love you all,
Kim

Fever Troubles

With a persistent fever, and the fever spikes occurring more frequently it's become obvious the current assortment of antibiotics is just not cutting it. Today the two Docs, (oncologist & infection Dr.) decided "it's time to pull out all the stops". The antibiotic, amphotericin known as one of the "big guns" was started. He's just now finishing up the first dose, and has to be monitored closely while it's being administered. We're told it rough stuff to take, but it's good stuff... it works. He also received a transfusion of platelets and packed red blood cells this morning.

He really needs for all the blood counts to come up and it's just not happening. Pray hard.

Love you all,
Kim

More Waiting

The oncologist said today that the bone marrow has not yet begun to recover from the chemo, and until that happens the blood counts will remain in the basement...there will be no white blood cells, no hanging onto platelets, etc. In the meantime, we'll keep doing what we're doing...transfusing as needed, continuing with the daily neupogen shots, (that promote the growth of white blood cells) continue with the assortment of antibiotics that are keeping the infections to a minimum, and.....waiting.

Certainly not the most encouraging news, especially since he's now been in the hospital for two weeks (since he bottomed out) and today we're still waiting for the same thing we were waiting for two weeks ago.

As we continue to wait, we'll continue "praying with great fervor." That's from one of my favorite quotes from St. Faustina's diary--I love the imagery.

Love you all,
Kim

Patience is the Key

The blood test results were not improved as we had hoped they would be, but I was able to get him out of the room today and walking more. We're pleased with that! The Dr. decided another transfusion of packed red blood cells was needed, which he received late this afternoon. So maybe that will help with the weakness and be a turning point for him. Even though he's hardly eating, he's become very particular about what he eats. Can't be too salty...can't be too sweet..can't have too much cheese...nothing raw due to the low white blood cell count. Ryan had to make a run to the hospital tonight with something for him to eat. It's real hard to not just say, "You have two choices, take it or leave it." You know, like we tell our kids.

Once again snow is falling, and is fore casted to fall during the night. Makes me wonder what the roads will be like in the morning. They were surprisingly treacherous this morning. I heard on the news today that the snow that fell overnight caused more traffic accidents than any of the previous snowstorms this season--and only about an inch fell last night.

Be safe.
Love you all,
Kim

Needing Some Good News

We're hoping for some good news Monday...like an improved white blood count. I'm worried Ray is getting depressed and tired. He spent most of today in bed sleeping, getting up only when I was there to force him out. Even then he'd get up (after arguing) and even do some exercises, but then fall back in bed and sleep. His appetite is still poor, weight loss becoming a concern.

His room is at the end of a quiet hall that has large windows. Tomorrow I'm planning to get him out to those windows (with a mask on, of course) for as long as he'll endure. Hopefully, we'll see some sunshine, but the forecast sounds as though we'll have clouds and snow. No matter what the weather, the change of scenery can't hurt. Those four walls are really closing in on him.

Thanks for your prayers.
Love you all,
Kim

More of the Same

Friday and Saturday blood counts are pretty much the same...the white blood count which we need to come up so badly remains in the basement. Each day we expect for it to start climbing, but it's just not happening. The Dr. told us it's still too dangerous for him to even leave his room, much less the hospital.

He's still very weak and spends a lot of time sleeping, but also complains that he's not getting any sleep. I brought some 1# weights to the hospital this morning and told him he's got to start doing some simple exercises and weightlifting. Daniel and I helped him do some exercises this morning, then later Amber came into town, she did some with him, and then this evening Andy went by and exercised with him. Hopefully tomorrow we'll be able to do the same. He's beginning to sink into that mattress, and I don't like the looks of it.

Appetite is still very poor. The dietitian gave him a "talkin' to" yesterday about eating more and maintaining his weight. I'm hoping these exercises will also help improve that. I tell him I'll bring him ANYTHING he wants to eat, but his answer is always the same--"nothing." That's changing tomorrow...I've been cooking and I've got plans.

Love you all,
Kim

Baby Steps Indeed

Slow improvements continue, but nonetheless we're grateful for improvements. He's still on a "regular" diet and eating very little at a time, but today about 45 minutes before his lunch arrived he said he was hungry! That was great to hear after so many days of hearing, "I don't feel like eating anything."

Another transfusion of platelets was given today. He's having a hard time holding onto those things. We have a great appreciation for those platelets and the donors who take the time to donate. It's a time comsuming process as any platelet donor knows.

Love you all,
Kim

Real Food

Finally the diet has been changed from "clear liquid" to a regular diet. The stomach issues are still no better after 8 days, so the dietitian said we should give it a try--we can always go back to the liquid if things get worse. The problem is a lack of appetite. When given the choice of any food he wanted, Ray's answer was that nothing appealed to him. But after eating part of a baked potato it was as though his whole outlook changed. He was more alert and even up and out of bed more. He can't eat a large amount, but ate nearly half of the evening meal. You know how he is with his food...he's already looking forward to oatmeal in the morning! Wow, the things we get excited about.

The white blood count is just above non-existent, but we're looking for that to improve over the next few days. He'll then be able to get out of his room for a little change in scenery. Then maybe, we can think about getting him back home.

I hope you were able to get your ashes today, and I pray this Lent will be a season of conversion for each of us.

Love you all,
Kim