One Small Step

The WBC once again increased by another tenth of a point. The Dr. said that it would great to have incremental increases, but we're encouraged by even these small ones. A push for more protein in the diet has begun. We'll be adding protein powder to food and drinks for starters. The dietition is also adding some protein snacks. It's going to be difficult when there's no desire to eat.

Still sleeping most of the time, and says he's got so much sleep to catch up on. About the only time he's awake is to eat, get a drink and use the bathroom. I usually have to wake him up to eat. We did manage to convince him he needed to shower today. He really didn't need to, but we hoped it would invigorate him. By the time he finished and dressed he was ready to pass out from exhaustion so I hurried to get him back in bed.

As far as Mary and Daniel, I try to keep life as normal as possible for them...whatever the heck normal is. Daniel is participating in a history fair @ WTAMU tomorrow. Also on his team are three of his classmates, who do not have their project ready. So tonight they'll be working until the eleventh hour, I'm sure. Mary is going to "A Night at the Museum" that is being held at the American Quarter Horse Museum for four hours tonight. Something I signed her up for a few weeks ago, having no idea all this other stuff would be going on in our lives. Don't know what I was thinking, but it's a good distraction for them.

Had lunch todaywith Gary & Peggy. Gary is one of Ray's cousins (Mother's side) from Tucumcari, NM. His mom LaRose, Ray's aunt just moved into a nursing home yesterday. We had a good chance to catch up.

Have a blessed weekend.
Love you all,
Kim

Any Improvement?

We look for any improvement, no matter how small. The white blood cell count is one-tenth of a point higher today. I asked the Dr. if he's encouraged at all by that. His response is that's really no change, but let's be hopeful that it's the beginning of an upward trend. So we'll wait and see what tomorrow's counts bring.

Everything else is about the same as yesterday. The second dose of the new antibiotic went pretty much the same as yesterday. He's has fever spikes as the drug is being administered and also some slight shaking. The nurses tell him he's handling it very well. Pre-meds (Demerol & Benadryl) are given before this drug is started, making it easier to tolerate.

His appetite is still poor. I did manage to get him to eat some homemade chicken soup tonight that I brought in for him. Strawberry Ensure has been his staple food. Yum!

Love you all,
Kim

Fever Troubles

With a persistent fever, and the fever spikes occurring more frequently it's become obvious the current assortment of antibiotics is just not cutting it. Today the two Docs, (oncologist & infection Dr.) decided "it's time to pull out all the stops". The antibiotic, amphotericin known as one of the "big guns" was started. He's just now finishing up the first dose, and has to be monitored closely while it's being administered. We're told it rough stuff to take, but it's good stuff... it works. He also received a transfusion of platelets and packed red blood cells this morning.

He really needs for all the blood counts to come up and it's just not happening. Pray hard.

Love you all,
Kim

More Waiting

The oncologist said today that the bone marrow has not yet begun to recover from the chemo, and until that happens the blood counts will remain in the basement...there will be no white blood cells, no hanging onto platelets, etc. In the meantime, we'll keep doing what we're doing...transfusing as needed, continuing with the daily neupogen shots, (that promote the growth of white blood cells) continue with the assortment of antibiotics that are keeping the infections to a minimum, and.....waiting.

Certainly not the most encouraging news, especially since he's now been in the hospital for two weeks (since he bottomed out) and today we're still waiting for the same thing we were waiting for two weeks ago.

As we continue to wait, we'll continue "praying with great fervor." That's from one of my favorite quotes from St. Faustina's diary--I love the imagery.

Love you all,
Kim

Patience is the Key

The blood test results were not improved as we had hoped they would be, but I was able to get him out of the room today and walking more. We're pleased with that! The Dr. decided another transfusion of packed red blood cells was needed, which he received late this afternoon. So maybe that will help with the weakness and be a turning point for him. Even though he's hardly eating, he's become very particular about what he eats. Can't be too salty...can't be too sweet..can't have too much cheese...nothing raw due to the low white blood cell count. Ryan had to make a run to the hospital tonight with something for him to eat. It's real hard to not just say, "You have two choices, take it or leave it." You know, like we tell our kids.

Once again snow is falling, and is fore casted to fall during the night. Makes me wonder what the roads will be like in the morning. They were surprisingly treacherous this morning. I heard on the news today that the snow that fell overnight caused more traffic accidents than any of the previous snowstorms this season--and only about an inch fell last night.

Be safe.
Love you all,
Kim

Needing Some Good News

We're hoping for some good news Monday...like an improved white blood count. I'm worried Ray is getting depressed and tired. He spent most of today in bed sleeping, getting up only when I was there to force him out. Even then he'd get up (after arguing) and even do some exercises, but then fall back in bed and sleep. His appetite is still poor, weight loss becoming a concern.

His room is at the end of a quiet hall that has large windows. Tomorrow I'm planning to get him out to those windows (with a mask on, of course) for as long as he'll endure. Hopefully, we'll see some sunshine, but the forecast sounds as though we'll have clouds and snow. No matter what the weather, the change of scenery can't hurt. Those four walls are really closing in on him.

Thanks for your prayers.
Love you all,
Kim

More of the Same

Friday and Saturday blood counts are pretty much the same...the white blood count which we need to come up so badly remains in the basement. Each day we expect for it to start climbing, but it's just not happening. The Dr. told us it's still too dangerous for him to even leave his room, much less the hospital.

He's still very weak and spends a lot of time sleeping, but also complains that he's not getting any sleep. I brought some 1# weights to the hospital this morning and told him he's got to start doing some simple exercises and weightlifting. Daniel and I helped him do some exercises this morning, then later Amber came into town, she did some with him, and then this evening Andy went by and exercised with him. Hopefully tomorrow we'll be able to do the same. He's beginning to sink into that mattress, and I don't like the looks of it.

Appetite is still very poor. The dietitian gave him a "talkin' to" yesterday about eating more and maintaining his weight. I'm hoping these exercises will also help improve that. I tell him I'll bring him ANYTHING he wants to eat, but his answer is always the same--"nothing." That's changing tomorrow...I've been cooking and I've got plans.

Love you all,
Kim

Baby Steps Indeed

Slow improvements continue, but nonetheless we're grateful for improvements. He's still on a "regular" diet and eating very little at a time, but today about 45 minutes before his lunch arrived he said he was hungry! That was great to hear after so many days of hearing, "I don't feel like eating anything."

Another transfusion of platelets was given today. He's having a hard time holding onto those things. We have a great appreciation for those platelets and the donors who take the time to donate. It's a time comsuming process as any platelet donor knows.

Love you all,
Kim

Real Food

Finally the diet has been changed from "clear liquid" to a regular diet. The stomach issues are still no better after 8 days, so the dietitian said we should give it a try--we can always go back to the liquid if things get worse. The problem is a lack of appetite. When given the choice of any food he wanted, Ray's answer was that nothing appealed to him. But after eating part of a baked potato it was as though his whole outlook changed. He was more alert and even up and out of bed more. He can't eat a large amount, but ate nearly half of the evening meal. You know how he is with his food...he's already looking forward to oatmeal in the morning! Wow, the things we get excited about.

The white blood count is just above non-existent, but we're looking for that to improve over the next few days. He'll then be able to get out of his room for a little change in scenery. Then maybe, we can think about getting him back home.

I hope you were able to get your ashes today, and I pray this Lent will be a season of conversion for each of us.

Love you all,
Kim

Not Much Change

Still running a low grade fever, so the antibiotic routine has been tweaked. One was dropped and another one added. The infection spec. told us today that he has Ray on a "scorcher therapy" --meaning the drugs he's on should be taking care of any infection he could possibly have, so he should not be running a fever anymore. Maybe this tweaking will make a difference.

Three transfusions (two of packed red blood cells and one of platelets) were given during the night and early this morning--white blood count still non-existent. We were able to get him in the shower this afternoon and then he sat in the recliner for a while. Probably the transfusions is what gave him the energy for that. He's still sleeping a lot during the day.

As I'm reading back over this I'm thinking it's rather dull. Maybe tomorrow there will be more exciting news. I'm really tired.

Love you all,
Kim

Slow Progress

Things are just not progressing as quickly as we wish they were. A few of the problems...low grade fever which spikes periodically for no apparent reason; very fatigued due to dangerously low blood counts; because of stomach issues, he's on a clear liquid diet and has been since last Wed. As of this afternoon, he's taking 6 antibiotics. I got the chance today to speak with the infection specialists about all these meds. Basically he said, Ray is so "immune compromised" right now, and because of the temp. we cannot take any risks. Maybe in a few days we'll back off of one or two of the antibiotics. He also said these are "heavy duty antibiotics" and may be part of the reason for the stomach issues. One thing for sure, there's no room left on his I.V. pole to hang another bag. It's a good thing he's still got such good veins. There's so much going in, that the port can't take it all so another peripheral I.V. line was started this evening. Oh yeah, he's also receiving blood and platelet transfusions.

Katie and Jenna flew back to College Station this afternoon. It was hard for them to go and hard for me to let them go. It was great having them here, the time just went by too quickly. Glad Ray wasn't in CCU the entire time they were here, giving them more time to spend with him.

Doug and Alice were by for a short visit today. They'll be heading back to Denver tomorrow. Mary and Daniel were out of school today for President's Day. Daniel's already saying he's going to think of an excuse to stay home tomorrow. Days off only make it harder for him to go back.

Love you all,
Kim

Out of CCU!!

This afternoon Ray moved out of the CCU and back to the 6th floor. We are thrilled for his progress. He's still very weak and will be for a while, but there is a marked improvement from even just this morning. It's great we can all be in his room together and at the same time without having to worry with all the restrictions of the CCU visiting hours. He 's still immune compromised so we have to be very careful with the hand washing and mask wearing.

Thank you for all your prayers!
Love you all,
Kim

Little Improvement??

Things are about the same this morning, maybe a little improvement, possibly due to him being transfused during the night with a unit of packed red blood cells, a unit of platelets, and lots of fluids throughout the day yesterday. The Dr.'s words were "time will tell if this is a short term fix, or if we're on the way to real improvement." Problems with the lungs is the main concern and they're always trying stay one step ahead of any infections throughout the body. They are planning to get him up and in a chair later this morning. This will be a challenge since all he wants to do is sleep, and he is so terribly weak.

Amber is here--arrived yesterday afternoon. Katie and Jenna will be getting in late this evening. Looking forward to having all the kids together. Andy has been working in OK but will be back this evening. Heather and Ryan have been helping run Daniel & Mary around.

Thanks so so much for your prayers, calls, comments,and thoughts. You are a blessing to our family.

Love you all,
Kim

Critical Care

We just had a helluva scare, which has landed Ray in CCU. Dr. is concerned about his oxygenation among other things. He is very, very sick. I just talked to Ray after he was moved, of course he's hating it that he has to be there, but also knows he wouldn't be there if it weren't necessary. Please keep him in your prayers.

Love you all,
Kim

Back to the ER

Just as we feared, we had to make a run for the ER early this morning. Ray was up a couple times during the night, and then around 4:00 a.m. all the nasty (fainting, vomiting, etc.) stuff started. Hydration began immediately in the ER, and then after a couple hours he was admitted and back on the 6th floor. A "No Visitors" sign has been put on his door, due to him being so fragile right now and at risk for catching something. He's very weak and has spent most of the day sleeping, only waking for a short time while vital sign are being taken.

It's scary how quickly things can change for him. Yesterday was a good day for him all the way up to bedtime. There was no indication whatsoever as to what was coming in just a few short hours. The best as anyone can tell, this is "fallout" from the last round of chemo. However, his immune system is so compromised at this point, tests and cultures are being done in case there's an infection of some sort. Of course he's already on an array of antibiotics, just in case.

More later, as I plan to be back to the hospital early in the morning.
Love you all,
Kim

Home Again

The Dr. released Ray this morning when making rounds. What a relief to have him back home again. He'll be returning to the outpatient room at the hospital each day for an injection to increase his white blood cell count, and blood work (CBC) will be done every other day for a few days at the Dr.'s office. We'll be doing quite a bit of sitting in waiting rooms, but it's so much better than being IN the hospital. Thank you for all your prayers. Please pray he can make it through the "bottomed out" days without serious problems.

Love you all,
Kim

Super Bowl Sunday

Today is the last day of the chemo flowing into the body. Blood counts are all still fairly good; not great, but good. His Doc was not on call this weekend, so each day another Doc paid him a visit. Our plans are for him to go home tomorrow since he's doing so well, but we'll have to see if his Dr. sees things the same as we do. Appetite is as good as ever. In fact he called me this morning around 8:15 (I was still in bed) requesting some menudo be brought to the hospital. He loves that stuff, (the smell reminds me of walking through the pigpen as a kid) so I picked some up from his favorite restaurant, and brought it to him. As you can tell, he's doing good. We hope and pray it continues.

Daniel and a couple of his friends are watching the Super Bowl at our house tonight. Well, they're not just watching the game, there's lots of eating and some running around the house going on too. It's fun to see them having fun. I've always loved it when the kids have friends over. It's certainly a good way to get to know their friends. I'm watching the game a little, (mostly the ads) and eating more than I should. Why do we think occasions such as this are a good reason to overeat?

Love you all,
Kim

Doing Well

Ray has been doing well. His energy is pretty good. We walked the halls a couple times today, stopping at the windows, marveling at the latest snowfall. A little over 5 inches fell so beautifully last night. The trees were flocked so pretty this morning, making it look more like Christmas. Thankfully, driving wasn't too bad. You know, that makes close to 20" of snow in the past 8 days; with more on the way. I know, I know, "we need the moisture!" Some of the parking lots around town have mountains of snow in them.

He's also able to read for pleasure again. He's always loved to read when he had time, but during much of his treatment these past 18 months, due to lack of energy and stamina just could not concentrate on reading. It's good he can catch up on that.

Other than that, not much else happening.
Love you all,
Kim

On Track

I wasn't able to make it to the hospital at all today. I really hate that, the days can get so long for Ray. Although each time I've spoken to him on the phone today, he's always upbeat and doesn't seem to be bothered that his wife is out tending to other duties. Each time he checks back into the hospital, when he arrives on the 6th floor it's like a family reunion seeing all the nurses again. After spending many, many days there during the past 18 months, he has gotten to know all the staff like family. It sure makes it easier for me, knowing they're taking care of him like one of the family. A couple of the 6th floor nurses call him their "adopted son."

This week is Catholic Schools Week which lends to even more activities than usual--plus Mary had a Dr. appt this afternoon, and then Daniel had drivers ed. after school. Late this afternoon, sleet and snow started, we figured the best place for us is off the streets and safe at home. Ray agreed. It's still early in this round, so the yuckiness (is that even a word?) hasn't started yet. Tomorrow looks much better for me getting to the hospital...unless we're snowed in again. Yikes!

Love you all,
Kim

Back to the Chemo Regimen

The liver function tests results were all back in the normal range this morning...THANK YOU, LORD!, but this also means beginning another round of chemo. After taking his time getting there, Ray checked into the hospital around 2:30 this afternoon. While he was in the admissions office, the Dr.'s office even called his cell phone asking where he was and if he'd changed his mind about going to the hospital. The nurse told him she was considering calling for the troops to "hunt him down." Understandably so, he was NOT wanting to start another round, but at the same time knows he has no choice.

This snow! What a mess! Now, they're calling for more, more and possibly more over the next week. The groundhog is even saying six more weeks of winter. Amy, I'm with you, please find that furry, rodent groundhog and shoot him!

Amber and Brooke (15 months) were here last night and today for a Dr. appt. There were some concerns with possible heart problems for Brooke. But the cardiologist said everything is fine, perfectly normal, AOK!! More answered prayers.

More later.
Love you all,
Kim